Say something that would trigger my red button, I would scowl fiercely. Expert at scowling and frowning, I had mastered the art of showing my displeasure. But inside I was timid and fearful and would cry a lot when no one was around.
The way to happiness is being positive. But how in the world can one be positive when you feel so negative? How can one be positive when you just want to scream your rage or sometimes want to curl up and die with despair?
CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY. The way to happiness is being positive. It starts with your desire to be happy. The first step is you have to make that choice…to be happy or not be happy. I tell you I cannot make any person happy if they do not want to be happy.
Have you ever had one of those moments?
You are in a foul mood. Your spouse asks you, “What’s wrong?” You grunt in response. “Did I say something wrong or did something again that displeased you?’ He asks knowing you so well.
“You haven’t paid me any attention the whole time I am here.” You speak up finally.
“Oh I’m so sorry,” He laughs trying to be cheerful. “You didn’t smile when I said hello so I thought you wanted to be alone. All you had to do was ask. You want to talk?” He pulls your hand to the sofa. “Tell me how your day was.”
You roll your eyes and say, “I don’t like to talk. Can you just leave me alone?” You walk off leaving a surprised spouse scratching his head wondering what the heck happened to you.
Now if you are like me, I’ve had those moments. I want to be comforted and I wanted someone to listen but when they gave me their attention I pushed them away. I could not understand but I realized later that I was feeling restless inside. I was unhappy. I didn’t know what I wanted.
The moment I decided I chose to be happy, I no longer resist the love given to me. And then it became easier to walk the path to happiness and be positive.
DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. Observe kids. They can easily get out of their unhappiness quite easily.
I remember my five year old nephew who accidentally hit the glass of water on the table wetting his dad’s cellphone. He tried to talk to his dad trying to distract him; but since his dad didn’t say a word, he felt so guilty that he ran to hide behind the sofa. Half an hour later, his mom had convinced him to go upstairs to the bedroom but came knocking on my door an hour after. My sis-in-law pleaded, “Can you help me explain that this is not a bad house? He keeps on saying this is a bad house!”
Alone in the room, I asked him what happened and what he felt. “I can’t control my hands!” He muttered looking at his hands teary eyed. My eyes watered a bit and I had to control myself from bawling when I understood what he was feeling completely. “Are you worried that Dad is mad at you? Did you spill the glass on purpose?” I asked one question after the other. He answered me honestly.
“Well, you didn’t do it on purpose so we just have to be careful next time right?” And then I threw in the question. “I know you are not feeling good right now, what would you like to do to feel good?”
He stopped pacing around the room and his eyes twinkled. “I’d like to play with my water gun but it’s in my grandma’s house. Ah I know, can we play with my sharks and dolphins?”
I said “okay.” He beamed with delight, his bad mood gone as he ran to his room to get his toys.
RESOLVE TO BE HAPPY. Today, wherever you are right now, whatever challenges are staring at you in the face, resolve to be happy. You can prefer to be happy. You want to be happy. You desire to be happy. You opt to be happy.
By choosing, deciding, preferring, desiring, resolving to be happy, your attitude changes! You can actually start to be positive! By doing this you have just walked your way to happiness!